Intersections

I love the fact that my soccer teammates and I exist at the intersections of so many different identities. Gay, straight, Mexican, Korean, American, adoptee, immigrant, undocumented, working class, upper class, Catholic, Protestant, Americanista, Chivas loyalist, high school junior, mother of four. At training sessions, Spanish and English fly across the pitch, good-natured banter about hickeys on someone's neck combining with stories about getting pulled over by the police. Some of us cross ourselves after we score a goal; others tattoo our team loyalty into our skin. We are an amalgamation, a mish-mash, a true melting pot. We stand at the crossroads of identity and dare the world to tell us we can't be there.

I think too many adoptees get caught up in looking for one "true" identity in their birth family when the reality is that identity is as much, if not more, created, than inherent. For me, yes, there was a time when meeting my birth family was very important to me. The meeting itself turned out to be a much less profound experience than I had hoped. It wasn't an instant process for me to be able to recognize the opportunity my uncertainty in identity was presenting me.

I guess my point is this: just because I am Korean by birth, does not mean that my "true" identity is Korean. I think too much emphasis is placed on finding "original" or "true" identity by looking for birth family, especially for international adoptees. And I think adoptees shouldn't just be encouraged to seek answers in their past, but to seek identity and opportunity right where they are as well. Because we all stand at intersections of identity, whether we realize and acknowledge it or not.