Validity

I think it's unfortunate that there is such an inverse relationship between the validity of an adoptee's story and the degree of suffering/trauma/angst he or she discusses in that story. The more an adoptee felt ostracized, looked down on and left out growing up, the more honest and valid his or her experience is deemed. And if an adoptee doesn't express intense feelings of not belonging or strong desires to search for birth family, then he or she simply hasn't dealt with "emotional issues" or engaged in enough self analysis or is simply trying to please adoptive parents and/or adoption agencies by playing into their propaganda.

The only "truth" about adoption is that every adoptee's story is different. My sister and I had the good fortune to be adopted by the same family, to have contact with our birth family from day one, and to have parents who encouraged and supported our identities in all the different directions and iterations they've taken. Our level of suffering/trauma/angst didn't exceed that of the average teenagers growing up, probably didn't even equal it, to be honest.

But that doesn't make our experiences as adoptees any less valid, or any less true, and it doesn't make our views on adoption any less honest.